Love Hurts?

That time, we used to be happy
Well, I thought we were, But the truth was that
you had been longing to leave me, Not daring to tell me
On that precious night watching the lake vaguely conscious
You said: Our story was ending. Now I'm standing here
No one to wipe away my tears, No one to keep me warm
And no one to walk along with, No one to make me feel
No one to make me while, OH! What am I to do?
I'm standing here alone, It doesn't seem so clear to me
What am I supposed to do about this burning, heart of mine
OH! What am I to do? Or how should I react?
OH! Tell me please!
The rain was killing the last days of Summer
You had been killing my last breath of love
Since a long time ago
I still don't think I am gunna make it through another love story
You took it all away from me
And there I stand, I knew I was gonna be the .....
The one left behind.
But still I'm watching the lake vaguely conscious
And I know---My life is ending
–

Once, I saw my friend cried over a lost love. Looking at her, I do understand how much pain the she’s been thru. This whole thing scenario makes me think really hard actually. What makes the love of two people breaks when they still adore and love each other?

When comes to women, when they love someone, they will love that “someone” with all of their heart and he’s mean the world to her.

Men, always think that the women can handle the separation if they think the partner is strong, but, one thing they always forgot, when she’s strong, that doesn’t mean that she don’t have any feelings.

What does a relationship means actually? Some relationship may starts from friendship and somehow, somewhere the love just start to grow. Who’s to blame? It is true that love is blind. But, are we? I guess I am not alone when I make this statement, when two people in love, everything is so wonderful and nothing can goes wrong. Isn’t it? People can get crazy when not hear their partner’s voice for even a day, start feeling miserable if they start to hurt their partner’s feeling.. (even unintentionally), try very hard to make a phone call no matter how busy they were just to ease themselves from their hectic world.. and so many things that people are willing to do.

[ I didn’t understand the reason..
That my heart was beating like a drum..
I didn’t understand the meaning..
Then you opened up my eyes to..
A crazy little thin called love… a crazy thing called love.. ]

Sometimes, somehow it makes me wonder, when something goes wrong, even if they decide to take one step back, why does it look like they are taking 10 steps back? Suddenly they manage to live without their partner and skipped all the things that they shared before?

There are people who being left by the partner just like that and end up wondering around.. and keep on asking ourselves..” where did I go wrong?” , “Why me?” , “Why all this happen to me?” .. and the questions that remain unanswered will keep on haunting them until they are tired (god knows until when exactly..).

And they are couples that end up being friends, but, of course things are definitely going to be awkward. They try to act like what two friends usually does or talk about and try not to say something that will trigger or recall any good memories that they shared together. That of course the big NO of “I Love You’s” and “ Miss You’s”. But, does it work? How far can they hide the feelings inside them?

[ If tomorrow never comes, will she know how much I loved her..
Did I try in every way to show her every day.. That she’s my only one..
And if my time on earth were through..
and she must face the world without me..
Is the love I gave her in the past ..
Gonna be enough to last..
If tomorrow never comes
-Ronan Keating “If Tomorrow Never Comes” ]

Even worst, if they get back together and have something they call “relationship” just to get a proper closure. Couldn’t live the world of guilt leaving the partner and expected the partner cool-off slowly. At this stage, they will keep on hurting each other feelings.. (without they realizing it or not). The cool and cold behavior, the I-don’t-need-you attitude and try not to create any sweetness in what they call as “relationship”… that of course includes of no more the feeling of comforting each other, no sweet words.. and less care.
If they are not emotionally related, what in the world they call it a relationship anyway?
Even a best friend can do a better job than that.. ;)

[ Now I live with the regret..
That my true feelings for them never were revealed
So I made a promise to myself..
To say each day how much she means to me..
And avoid that circumstance…
Where there’s no second chance to tell her how I feel…
So, tell someone that you love.. just what you’re thinking of…
If tomorrow never comes…
- Ronan Keating “ If Tomorrow Never Comes” ]


It’s true..”cinta tak semestinya bersatu”.. but still.. “love is forever”..

And so it is...

It has been 2 days since my last blog. Friday, not really in a good mood to write anything.. and Saturday? Erghhh.. had a really bad weekend.. so many things happened and plus my very very bad headache and stiffed shoulder. Last night I end up sleeping with those white patches a.k.a koyok all around my neck and shoulder. (wish I can paste it to my heart too.. will it work to heal a broken heart?? Hehehe.. just kidding! )

And today, slightly a better day for me. No dizzy, no stiff shoulder.. and I end up sitting here infront of my computer for more than 5 hours already. Nothing much that I do, just browsing and downloading musics, do some readings, and update some of my “writings”.

While browsing, I found this one song sang by Damien Rice – Blower’s Daughter. Oh mannn… so lah wonderful his voice!.. Not to forget, the music..- the guitar and violin. Voila!! I bet if there is a man playing guitar infront of me singing me that song with that sooooo beautiful voice.. I will definately melt!! (Huhuhu.. tak kuat iman sungguh!) . Dunno why I fond to a man + guitar.. Hmm.. to tell you something, I’ve tried to learn to play guitar long time ago.. but, hancusss!! What can I say.. no talent sihh!!.. All I know is.. I am good in sports.. but not into musical instruments.. (heyyy.. at least I know how to appreciate good music! :P ) Anyway, I do listen to any song that is good and nice to hear, regardless it’s Ballad, R&B, Hip Hop, Soul or even Pop.. I don’t really care. I know some of us will choose for good looking or beautiful singer without taking an account of their talent. But, it’s not fair isn’t it? Be such judgmental by the looks.

Yan, I know still owe you to write something about “kekasih gelap” kan? Nantilah, whenever I have an idea to write about it, I will kay? Hmm.. it’s kinda sensitive issue actually, and will try to write as general as it can be.. (nanti ada orang terasa pulak.. ;) )
But seriouslah.. how come you don’t know what is “kekasih gelap” means??? Example paling senang..if you couple with our “ Mr. Pandan Indah”… ha tu la kekasih gelap you!..

Chow!

Lessons Learned

There's some things that I regret,
Some words I wish had gone unsaid,
Some starts,
That had some better endings,
Been some bad times I've been through,
Damage I cannot undo.
Some things,I wish I could do all all over again,
But it don't really matter,
Life gets that much harder,
It makes you that much stronger,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wonder how I'd get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.

There's mistakes that I have made,
Some chances I just threw away,
Some roads,I never should have taken,
Been some signs I didn't see,
Hearts that I hurt needlessly,
Some wounds,
That I wish I could have one more chance to mend,
But it don't make no differance,
The past can't be rewritten,
You get the life you're given,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wonder how I'd get threw the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.
And all the things that break you,
Are the things that make you strong,
You can't change the past.
Cause it's gone,
And you just gotta move on,
Because it's all
Lessons learned.

And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wonder how I'd get through the night,
From Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned,
Lessons learned.
Lessons learned."

.....may we cherish every sweet moments that we had together..

Sometimes Life's So Bitter Sweet..

When i was browsing for new songs to add in my playlist, i heard this one song that i really want to dedicate to a friend of mine.. (and myself?? ;) ). It has such a beautiful lyric sang by Country song singer, Carrie Underwood - "Starts with Goodbye" .

p/s: remember, the "loser" wins.. the gainer.. Chillis! ;)


Starts with Goodbye

I was sitting on my doorstep,
I hung up the phone and it fell out of my hand,
But I knew I had to do it,
And he wouldn't understand,
So hard to see myself without him,
I felt a piece of my heart break,
But when you're standing at a crossroad,
There's a choice you gotta make.

[Chorus:]
I guess it's gonna have to hurt,
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side,
I guess it's gonna break me down,
Like falling when you try to fly,
It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye.

I know there's a blue horizon,
Somewhere up ahead,
just waiting for me,
Getting there means leaving things behind,
Sometimes life's so bitter sweet.

[Chorus:]
I guess it's gonna have to hurt,
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side,
I guess it's gonna break me down,
Like falling when you try to fly,
It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye.

Time, time heals,
The wounds that you feel,
Somehow, right now.

[Chorus:]
I guess it's gonna have to hurt,
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I've loved
To get to the other side,
I guess it's gonna break me down,
Like falling when you try to fly,
It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye,

I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side,
Starts with goodbye,
The only way you try to find,
It's sad but,
Moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye,
Na na na na na na na.

Today is quite a busy day.. and tiring too. Usually, when i tense, i start looking for something to munch.. Start from the fruits, biscuits, errrr... double cheese burger (guilty!), breads and last but not least.. cheese crackers!! Now i feels like my stomach is bloating.. huhuhu!!

Went to Mines with Norzie and Azhi today. Instead of having lunch, i end up do treatment for my hair.. and believe me.. the massage, the hair wash..the steaming and all..erggghhh really worth the time and money. I had headache.. or the best word to describe it is.. oh yeaa.. dizzy!! from this morning. My neck is very stiff.. and eventho the massage is a bit "hard".. but it's really feels sooooooo good! It's great when some of the time we kinda pamper ourselves with that sort of treatment.. hmm.. to think of it, when is the last time i had my facial eh? If i'm not mistaken..it was before raya. Nantilah.. saturday ni la kot baru pegi.. :) What's next?? Pedicure and Manicure?? Uiskhhh... ni really nak ilang tense nih.. hehehehe.. (susahnya jadi perempuan.. always in dilemma just to look good.. :P )

Try to finish up some of my outstanding work.. but in the same time, i really want to go home, take hot shower and put on my pijamas... and getting lazy watching tv.. or maybe do some reading. Fuhhh..heaven tuh! But outside is still raining.. huhuhu.. malasnya nak drive time ujan. The traffic must be really heavy.. (and hectic!). Somehow, to drive on the heavy rain, and then nak kena concentrate on the road + i misplaced my glasses + having a problem with my eyes (astigmatism) = increase my headache. I wish i can just simply take lrt and doze off!

Abis citer.. in about 30 minutes.. wallaaaa.. sampai dah!!

huhuhu..boringnyaaa!!!!

*dear..oh dear.. where r u??

Family Day 2007

I was requested by some of my friends here to post one of the picture that was taken early this year - our departmental family day that was held on February, 2007 - Ilham Resort, Port Dickson.. hmm.. especially the one at the light house.

Nothing much i can tell about the outing, except how happy we were and looking forward for another most probably early next year. Any suggestion on the next venue guys? No matter what, it was really a memorable trip, and the good thing is we get to know each other better.

It's a 2 days 1 night trip, even it just a short trip, we still manage to hold a BBQ night where most of the food was prepared by our Farhani with the help from the girls of course; Norzie, Aida, Norita and whoelse? Oh yeaa.. Abang Anuar's wife, Kak Zah. The food was lovely especially the salad and grilled lamb.. yummm..!! Hehehe.. Farhani, when are you going to cook for us, again??? Hmm..looks like we have to hold another family day just to get a good food from our talented chef eh??

Talking about food.. huhuhu.. why suddenly my stomach growling??? aisehhh.. this is not good at all.. going to ruin my diet.. :( It's still raining outside and it's cold.. suddenly feels like having a nice hot coffee.. or maybe milo?? Alright..nanti i sambung lagi. Got request from someone.. she ask me to write about "kekasih gelap"nyer topic.. interesting tuh.. but, nantilah ye!

Take care everybody!

"We Care" Campaign

Arrived office slightly late this morning. Had breakfast on the run. Usually i will have my shake and bowl of fruits for breakfast.. but, seems that i am out of shake..(out of shape too!!).. so, whether i want it or not.. i end up eating my pbj (peanut butter jelly sandwich).

And today HSE department will be organizing "We Care" Campaign. It's an awareness campaign towards a healthy lifestyle and there will be a medical check up session to basically know your blood reading, Body Mass Index (BMI), Blood Pressure etc..etc..etc..

Eventho with tons of work to do, i decided to spend some time just to check some of my readings ... trust me, i couldn't remember when is the last time i had my check-up. Just curious to know how my health condition and all.

Huhuhu.. the result??? Low blood with fast heart pace.. :( I know for all this while i have a problem with my heart, that the pace is too fast and i have to sit down for a while just to calm it down... but my low blood?? aisehhhh... no wonder i always dizzy and experience severe migrain.

The advice? Hmm... drink milk 3x a day.. (ewwww!!) .. and also.. take more on sea food, liver and anything that can help promotes the reproduction of blood. Milk?? my consumption of milk will only happen if i take my cereal.. other than that? hmm.. don't think so. Still remember when my mom forced me to take powder milk + milo.. (she's was trying to trick me to take the milk.. hahaha!! very fishy! ) .. but, by the smell of it, i am all ready to vomit. I used to have no problem with condensed milk tho.. but, that was before.. now.. hmm.. no exception..:(

Maybe during the session, my worries is too obvious, luckily someone..(err.. mr. stare, tj! ) kinda give me some advice and try to comfort me by saying that i shouldn't be worry too much of weight as i'm within okay.. but, too bad, i still feel that i am fat. ( i do..i do..i do..).

To be concluded, i still have to lost another 3kg, drink milk 3x a day, and eat what i have supposed to eat.. ( i supposed!) Enough of bla..bla..bla.. but all i care is.. i have to lost another 3 kg no matter what.
Hehehe.. alamak.. i have already lost 22kg for the past one year....i'm sure i can handle another 3 kg.. (with strict diet + heart broken = 3 kg lost) <--- apa la punya equation!

Alright.. nanti i sambung lagi tulis.. time to get to work..

Later!

a lovely morning

Eventho it's heavily rain outside, i still find it's a lovely morning. Always, rain reminds me of something nostalgic and of course..i wish i can just stay inside the blanket and ZzzzZZzzz..:P (ergggh... suddenly my head is spinning and feel dizzy...hmm..another good reason to get MC nih.. :P )..

Just had my breakfast, my favorite: peanut butter + jelly with apricot raisin wholemeal bread.. yummmy!!! to think of it again.. errr.. i had that for my dinner last nite too... As usual, every morning i will jump into my scale anddddd... walllaaahh!! I lost another pound! hehehe.. best..bestttt...:)
But... but.. i still have another 10 pounds to go.. :(
fuhhh..yes, u can do it!

Something for me to share, i came across this article entitled "Eat Yourself Sexier" kind of attracts my attention. The question is: "CAN I EAT MY WAY TO LONGER, LEANER SHAPE?" and the answer is: YES.

These basically are the things that shd be put under consideration.

MAKE SURE YOUR DIET IS LOW IN FAT
- Aim for maximum of 40g a day and ensure the majority of it is good fat from sources such as nuts, fish and olive oil.

EAT PLENTY OF PROTEIN
- like lean meat, fish, lentils and nuts. Protein aids muscle growth and will help u feeling full after each meal.

HAVE SMALL AMOUNT OF LOW-GI CARBOHYDRATES
- for long-lasting energy to fuel your workouts. This includes wholegrain bread, low fat dairy, fruit and brown rice.

AVOID ALL HIGH KILOJOULE FOODS
- such as butter, dressings, take away and sweets. These will only given you load more kJs, while you'll need to work even harder to burn off.

Enough information already? Insya Allah i will find more information on how to keep us healthy and good shape and post it here:) If you have any information or "petua2" to share.. just email or drop your comments kay?

Word Power
PEDAGOGY : Relating to education; the profession or theory of teaching. Greek paidagogos (slave who escorted children to school).

10 things i hate about you ...

I hate the way you talk to me,
and the way you cut your hair.

I hate the way you drive my car,

I hate it when you stare.

I hate your big dumb combat boots
and the way you read my mind.

I hate you so much it makes me sick,
it even makes me rhyme.

I hate the way you’re always right,

I hate it when you lie.

I hate it when you make me laugh,
even worse when you make me cry.

I hate it when you’re not around,
and the fact that you didn’t call.

But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you,

not even close…

not even a little bit…

not even at all.


- (from the movie "10 Things I Hate About You..)

.............

Somewhere there's someone who dreams of your smile,
and finds in your presence that life is worth while.
So when you are lonely, remember it's true
Somebody somewhere is thinking of you.

- K. Blackburn

friendship lasts forever..

Everytime i look at this picture, it's really make me smile. These are basically my circle of friends that really close to me for this past one year. If you ask me one the reason why i look forward to go to the office everyday, you are looking at it now:).

Hmm.. sometimes it makes ppl around us wonder what are we talking about coz it seems like we never have enuf of each other. Hmm.. the funny part is.. we always say "good friends always stab infront, and never at the back". Remember that eh? So, never ever hold anything inside you and let it go!

.."add more on the love and care... less on the hate.."

love you guys!
(and u too, mike!)